Pirates Ahoy! Wait- What?
by CitrusFruitsAppreciationClub
Summary: When Spain has a headache and doesn't know why, France and Prussia get pelted with tomatoes and something happens to change Romano's view of his former boss forever, could it really be that Spain has become a pirate again? Or is he hiding something? Or have they all just gone insane? Based off an RP. Rated M for *cough* reasons
1. Chapter 1

_You can't get rid of me forever, you know…_

_You're just going to have to stay away for as long as possible then, amigo!_

Spain laid on the hill, a tomato in one hand, a turtle in the other. He enjoyed this place, his favourite place to relax and get rid of headaches or hangovers, often taking Romano here with him. Speaking of which, where was Romano? The little Italian often helped get rid of his headache, something he desperately needed to do. Antonio had had a constant headache for days and had no idea what was causing it. Something must be happening in his country. That must be it...

Hearing a commotion, he sat up, looked down and saw someone coming up the hill… It was France and Prussia, covered in tomatoes, dragging Romano with them.

"Toni, ve brought you a present~!"

Forgetting his headache temporarily, Spain asked why they were covered in tomatoes, France replied innocently, "We tried to touch Romano's butt, but he had a basket of tomatoes and well..." Romano wiggled and kicked trying to get out of France and Prussia's hands, but their grip was strong. "Oi! Help me, tomato bastard! Don't just sit there!" France started laughing in his creepy French laugh and Romano kept struggling, yelling profanities at them. Prussia joined in on the laughter, none of them realising that Spain had walked behind them. Spain quickly splatted a tomato on both of the older countries heads, causing them to loosen their grip on Romano who used this opportunity scramble away. Then trip. Damn it all!

The Spaniard laughed as he helped Romano up, only to throw him over his shoulder and ran like a maniac down the hill. On his way down however, he tripped over his two friends who had collapsed in laughter

Romano was sent tumbling down the hill, stopping at the feet of his brother and Germany (who had stopped him with his foot). The older Italian quickly got up on to his feet, cursing angrily in Italian before yelling at the German. "Potato-Bastard, what the hell are you doing hanging around my _fratello_? The war's over!" Before Germany could explain, Romano (still dizzy from rolling down the hill) threw a punch at the German.

It missed completely and instead hit Italy straight in the face. Romano stood awkwardly trying to process the scene in front of him. "Italy, I told you ve shouldn't hang around your _bruder_!" What?

Before Romano could ask what his brother was doing here with that German bastard, he was tackled from behind by an overly happy Spaniard. "Spain, you bastard, GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" Yelled the angry Italian (now on the floor, pinned down by a grinning Spain)

"Shush Romano, it's okay! I'm doing this to stop you from punching more little brothers!" Suddenly, a dart hit Spain in the back of the neck. He passed out and fell down on top of Romano. Someone came running down the hill with a tranquilliser gun. It was Prussia. "KESESESESE, ME UND ROMANO ARE GOING TO MAKE A NEW SHIP!" He swooped down, rolled his Spanish friend off the Italian and grabbed Romano quickly.

Romano thrashed around in the strong Prussian's arms, yelling "NO PRUMANO, ANYTHING BUT THAT!" As if hearing his pleas, a horde of fangirls swamped Prussia, picking up the Italian and the Spaniard (who was woken up by this) and carrying them on a wave back home.

_Now it's my turn!_

_Don't you dare lay a hand on him!_

The fangirls began to chant the words "Spamano smut" and immediately Romano began to panic while Spain smiled wickedly. "Romaaaa, we are making more Spanish provinces sí?"

Romano begins to panic so much that he doesn't notice that Spain doesn't look like his usual self. When he feels something tug at his curl, Lovino is brought back to reality, just in time for him to panic for another reason. The pirating Spaniard from his childhood is there, looking absolutely terrifying!

Spain stared at Romano with a huge smirk and grabbed his wrist, the fangirls squealed when they saw this. Almost immediately, they threw them into an open window of Spain's house. Conveniently it was the bed room window, they landed on the bed and Romano screeched because, once again, he was pinned down by Spain, except now it was a much more sexy, pirate version of Spain. "Romano, is your body ready?"

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**A/N: Hey, this is Lou! Thanks for reading this and I'd just like to tell you how much it means to me that you did! This is the first time I have ever written a fan fiction. Enjoy and if you can tell us how to improve this in any way, please do! R&R, it would mean the world to both me and Anna :)**

**A/N: If you get the fangirl horde joke or are part of it, have a cookie! *holds out cookies***


	2. Chapter 2

Romano started screaming for Spain to help him (it's an automatic reaction, deal with it) only to be silenced by a pair of lips crashing into his own. Tensing at the sudden contact with the pirate version of his former boss, Romano eventually found himself slowly melting into it. He had to admit, it was fun. Until, that is, he felt a tug at the all important curl. He froze and Spain (having no idea of the affect of the curl on his former henchman) tugged at it again, only to hear a moan from under him. The Spaniard looked down to see Romano's face tomato red, his own eyes lighting up with an insane gleam. He was going to enjoy this!

He began to play with it, twirling it in his fingers and giving it a drought tug every now and then. However after a while, this bored him. Romano was getting used to Spain's actions and so his reaction was no longer that surprising or interesting. That just wouldn't do for this pirate though. He slid a hand under Romano's shirt and with his other hand positioned the curl. The Italian looked at him curiously trying to figure out what his intentions were. Without warning, Antonio opened his mouth, pulled the curl over to it, and bit down on it. He watched his former henchman awaiting a reaction.

Realising what was happening, the younger male tried pulling away from the Spaniard's grip, to no avail. His body had gone limp and Spain was too heavy for Romano to shove off him. Even if he did, his shirt would have been ripped off by the bastard's arm. Knowing he had the advantage, the pirate continued his advance on the Italian, playing with the curl he held tightly in his mouth as he watched his partner's face twist in a mix of pleasure, pain and terror, just how he liked it. Romano couldn't keep this up much longer. Was this how Spain was when he worked as his henchman? When he pillaged villages? How he treated the women? No, it couldn't have been. This was not the Spaniard Romano had fallen in love wi- No, no, he wasn't in love... He was being tortured by this maniac masquerading as his friend. This fiend! Yet, all he could do was call out for Spain. His Spain. Not this monster.

Spain started to slowly, teasingly unbutton Romano's shirt, suppressing a chuckle when he felt the Italian freeze and then start to struggle again. He took off his own shirt, separating from the curl momentarily. As soon as it was off, he leaned back down, gave his "friend" a quick peck, and then bit down on his curl again in a much more aggressive fashion then he had before. He snaked his hands over Romano's chest and revelled in the sounds and weak struggling he was rewarded. He let his hand roam lower to Romano's belt and zipper. Spain immediately got to work on his henchman's lower half.

Romano wasn't sure how much more he could take. This was insane! He began thrashing his legs around in a feeble attempt to get the pirate's filthy hands off of him. Damn that bastard, he was going straight for it! Spain took the curl in his fingers again, a great relief to the smaller Italian, only to unzip Romano's pants with his teeth. Getting kneed in the face, the Spanish marauder decided that enough was enough. Adjusting his position, Spain was now straddling his partner's legs, preventing them from moving. "Get the fuck off me, bastard!" Romano yelled weakly, knowing his resistance was futile. "So this is what you grow into, Roma~. Let's see what's inside this cage, shall we?" Ignoring his victim's objections, as he always did, and instead, grinned at him. That grin, that terrifyingly devilish grin was enough to make a grown man cry. Which it did. Tears were forming in the corners of Romano's eyes; he suddenly realised something. Wait... Cage? What ca- Oh Dio, no. Not that! Shit!

Spain knew exactly what he was doing as he slid his finger under the elastic of the Italian's underwear. The look on his face would put France to shame and make him run in terror. The Spaniard effortlessly ripped Romano's underwear off, discarding them to the abyss that was the bedroom floor, everything now exposed. "Make boss proud, okay, Roma~?" Still preventing his partner moving his legs, Spain undid the buckle on his own belt and removed his trousers, revealing that he wasn't wearing underwear.

"Don't they know how to dress in your era?" Romano teased, knowing where this was going and wanting to get it over with so he could get _his _Spain back. The one who loves tomatoes and is always there to comfort him... His friend... "Hmm? Oh, I just don't like wearing them at sea!" A child-like grin replaced the fierce one the Spaniard's face had held just a moment ago. Shaking his head, Spain's face returned to how it was previously.

_You aren't coming back! I'm not done here yet!_

_I can always try, amigo!_

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**A/N: Sorry for the short chapters, thinking about it, these past two chapters would have been better off as one but oh well! Thanks for reading, R&R and look forward to a fight next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

~Meanwhile, in Spain's head~

"I'm not going to give up…" Antonio stood opposite his opponent, who just so happened to be a pirate.

"You should know you can't win against yourself!" The pirate version of himself, to be exact. "Your little _tomate _will be mine!"

Smirking, Spain ran towards… himself(?) and swung at him with the battle axe, only to have his attack blocked with a cutlass. "Gone soft in your old age, Toni?"

Instead of responding with words, Antonio swung for his pirate self. However, the hit didn't land correctly and the pirate caught the shaft of the battle axe, using it to pin his opponent to a wall.

"I never noticed how handsome I must be to others!" Pirate Spain gloated.

Struggling to breathe due to the axe shaft being pushed against his neck, the Spaniard had had enough. "You. Won't. Get. My. Lovi!" With that last word, Antonio had gripped the axe and pushed back his pirate counterpart, gaining the upper hand once again. "He is my _tomate_, and he always will be!"

_"If you want him back that bad, come and get him~"_

Eyes filled with pure rage and determination, Spain took his chance and swiped at the side he hid from his young friend, slicing his abdomen.

Unfazed by the deep incision across his stomach, the pirate took a swing at Antonio, forcing him backwards. Dodging with new-found ease, Spain charged his enemy head on, axe trailing behind, ready to attack.

However, his pirate counterpart simply shook his head and smiled, holding his stomach. "Don't you get it? I'm the stronger one of us! I was the one who fought all of our battles!"

"And that is why I sent you away… And why I must finish this," the Spanish nation swung the axe, slicing his opponent in multiple places. The weapon became an extension of himself as the Spaniard continued his attack, cutting the pirate and his clothes.

After a great deal of damage had been done, Spain decided to stop his onslaught. "And here I was thinking you were the stronger of us both," spite dripped from his voice, along with hints of something that seemed to be sympathy. "Now, give me back control," approaching the bloody body before him, Antonio crouched down next to his pirate self.

"You… Aren't getting him… Back… He's mine now!" The pirate laughed and his laughter descended into a coughing fit.

Helping him sit up, Spain simply said, "Your body disagrees," with a giant smile on his face before fading away, silently declaring his victory.

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**A/N: Hola~ Here's the fight scene! But don't worry, pirate!Spain is sticking around for another chapter! Anna is writing the lemony goodness continued from the last chapter. R&R, if you liked it and we'll see you next time!**

**A/N: I just realised how short these chapters are... Should we write more on our next stories or not?**


	4. Chapter 4

Romano gasped as Spain enclosed his mouth over his hard member. W-wait, when did he even get hard?! Spain hummed softly, sending vibrations down Romano's length and causing him to suppress a loud moan. Spain gazed up at his former charge, and Romano could see the devilish grin on his too-handsome face. Not that he was attractive! Romano bit his lip defiantly, trying to resist the urge to buck his hips into the Spaniard's mouth.

Spain smiled softly as he took in Romano's aroused expression and (so adorable~) blush. Ah, his Roma was so cute... He circled his tongue over the head of the Italian's cock, using his other hand to fondle his balls and drawing out a sharp cry from the other man. Straightening up for a second, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small container, pulling off the lid and pouring a generous amount of the liquid onto his fingers.

D-damn this tomato bastard, thought Romano, he planned this! He twisted, trying to escape from the Spaniard's fingers, but the man's hand went to his hip, holding him in place with a vice-like grip. The other hand, fingers coated in lube, went to the Italian's entrance. Romano opened his mouth to curse the other man, but instead let out a loud moan when Spain pushed a finger inside.

Spain felt the Italian cry out and squirm, as he pushed his finger deeper into the entrance. Quickly, he added another digit, and began to scissor them, searching for the other man's prostate. When Romano let out a particularly loud moan and thrust his hips forwards, Spain knew he had found it. Flexing his fingers slightly, he felt the Italian writhe beneath him.

"Just... Hurry up and do it... Tomato bastard..." Romano gasped out, managing to muster a glare at his former caretaker. He hated being so needy and vulnerable around HIM of all people... But at that particular moment, the Italian couldn't care less.

Spain obliged and withdrew his fingers, grasping the other man's sides and lining up his own erection with the Italians hole. "Ready Roma~?" He asked teasingly, winking mischievously. Not waiting for an answer, he pushed into the entrance, and felt Romano shudder beneath him.

Romano threw his head back and cried out at the sensation of being filled. Instinctively, he arched his back and thrust his hips forwards, begging the Spaniard to move. Through half lidded eyes, he saw the other man bend down to close the gap between their lips. As the pirate's tongue invaded his mouth, Romano felt Spain begin to pull out softly before thrusting back in, with more force this time. The Spaniard repeated the movement, building up a rhythm.

"Ah... Please... Bastard..." Romano breathed, grinding his hips against the Spaniard's. He reached downwards only to feel Spain's hand close over his own to rub the Italian's neglected erection, pumping in time with the thrusts. He rolled his hips in time with the pirate's, making the thrusts go deeper into his entrance, hitting the spot that made him see stars and throw his head back. Spain moved his mouth to Romano's neck, nipping and biting at the exposed skin. After this, everyone would know that the Italian was his.

Spain liked that.

Romano clawed at the pirate's back, digging his nails into the skin, leaving angry red marks. He felt pressure building in his groin as Spain's hand wrapped around his cock, finally sending him over the edge. Crying out, he closed his eyes and rode out his orgasm, coating Spain's hand and both their stomachs. He wrapped his arms around the other mans neck as the pirate gave a final thrust, then came deep inside Romano.

As they both lay there, panting softly, Romano looked over at his former guardian and glared.

"Don't think this changes anything, tomato bastard!" He yelled.

Unfortunately, Romano's yells fell on the deaf ears of a sleeping Spaniard, whose face had returned to the calm, happy smile that was constantly worn.

* * *

**~Later that day~**

There was a knocking at the door, accompanied by some voices.  
"Mon ami, we're sorry for earlier!"  
"Toni, ze awesome me apologises!"

Still sat in bed, cuddling, the Mediterranean couple could hear the two people the Italian wanted to see the least apologising and begging to be let in.

"Lovi, why are they sorry?"  
"Y-You don't remember, tomato bastard?"  
"Remember what?"

A dangerous look flickered across Spain's eyes before returning to normal.  
"Nothing, España," came the silently panicked response. "Are you going to go let your idiot friends in?"  
"But, Lovi~! I'm comfy!"

Groaning, Romano facepalmed. "If you go, I'll let you pull my curl"  
And with that, Spain ran to the door faster than an Italian from the British.

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**A/N: And with that, our first fan fiction is done! Anna wrote the lemon bit and Lou wrote the story part. Please don't kill us or anything for bad writing, we tried. R&R, any improvements to our writing would be greatly appreciated!**


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